Sandwiches the size of a child's head. |
Today, Jerome and I were joined by our fifteen-year-old
friend Danielle again. You may remember Danielle from such reviews as FiveGuys. Coincidentally, today’s restaurant, Jimmy John’s, is two doors down from
Five Guys in the same mini mall. I fell in love with Jimmy John’s in my college
days in East Lansing, Michigan and tooted a porcupine (not a real saying) when
I found out one was opening (and subsequently opened) a few blocks from my
house. Jerome fell in love with it too, and the wife tolerates it.
Our history lesson begins in 1983. Jimmy John’s namesake
Jimmy John Liautaud just finished second-to-last in his preparatory school
class. His father gave him a choice: he could join the military or start a
business. So, in a garage in Charleston, Illinois, Jimmy John opened the first
Jimmy John’s. To build up business, he offered free samples to local college
kids. The company still uses this tactic today: I gobbled up all the free
samples at my work when they arrived. Nowadays, there are over 1600 locations
in 41 states. The 1000th location is up in Beaverton, Oregon.
Jimmy John’s is best known for its fresh ingredients and “So
fast, you’ll freak” delivery. Their bread, baked fresh daily in house, is good
enough to eat on its own. There are meat and cheese slicers right there at the
assembly station. And, I’ve never experienced bad vegetables at Jimmy John’s. Their
delivery really is incredibly fast. I’d say fifteen-minute deliveries are the
average with less than 10 minutes fairly common.
Here's Jimmy John's on the outside. |
Today, we chose to dine in at the West 7th location
in Eugene, where there was no line at all at 2pm. I just realized I have not
mentioned at all what Jimmy John’s serves. They subsist solely on serving
calamari and escargot. Not really though. Jimmy John’s is a submarine sandwich
shop. They serve sandwiches that are shaped like submarines that are missing their hatch
and periscope and propellers and such. There might be a nuclear reactor if
nuclear reactors are shaped like alfalfa sprouts falling off of the submarine.
Jerome’s favorite aspect about Jimmy John’s is that they
serve “snow” lettuce, which is commonly referred to as iceberg lettuce in the
Midwest. Jimmy John’s piles it on every one of their numbered sandwiches (1
through 17). There are plain submarines, which just have meat and/or cheese;
regular submarines; club sandwiches, which have twice the meat and cheese of
the regulars; and the J.J. Gargantuan. The Gargantuan features five types of
meat, provolone (the only cheese they offer), mayo, Italian dressing, and
various vegetables.
Typically, I order the Gargantuan at Jimmy John’s, which
weighs in at 990 calories. But, I’m trying to trim off some of my pregnancy
pounds (my wife is pregnant and contagious in her weight gain). Next month, we
are heading to Las Vegas, Nevada, and I want to look good in a bikini. I ordered
the more modest Turkey Tom (#4 on your scorecard). The Turkey Tom is only 520
calories and consists of turkey, tom(ato), cucumber slices, shredded lettuce,
and Best Foods (also known as Hellman’s East of the Rockies) mayo. The kids,
being horribly uncreative and failing to understand that a food blog should
explore as many of a restaurant’s food options as possible, ordered the same
thing.
The Turkey Tom: the sandwich all three of us uncreatively ordered. |
Our tab looked like this:
Turkey Tom $4.95
Turkey Tom $4.95
Turkey Tom $4.95
Total $14.85
Danielle had never been to Jimmy John’s before, though she
was familiar with the concept of submarine sandwiches. She was struck by the
giant tubs of Best Foods, which served as the décor along with kitschy little
placards with cute sayings like “Work like you don’t need the money. Love like
you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching.” An unpleasant part of
the décor on this visit was a worker mopping right next to our table. Nothing
is quite as appetizing as mop water.
How We Rate It:
Danielle rated Jimmy John’s 20 out of 27 stars: “since they
dance while working, don’t give you napkins, and want you to fall on the wet
floors. But, I’d give the food 100%”
Jerome again refused to use the correct 27-star rating scale
and instead went gave them the number of stars equal to “as much genes as is in
my body, which is really, really really good.”
Jimmy John's provides service to people of all body types. |
I give the overall Jimmy John’s dining experience 24 stars
out of 27. I like that they are stingy with their napkins. I don’t like the
décor or the mopping while I’m eating. I think in the future, I’ll just opt for
having it delivered to my mouth. I know it won’t be an irresponsible decision,
since this particular location has a cyclist make the deliveries.